Jitesh's Domain

Game Designer. Producer. Gamer.

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Demon’s Souls >>>>> Girlfriend

Written and posted by me on Facebook (Wednesday, July 14, 2010 at 6:08pm)

I guess the post title is also valid for Demon’s Souls’ successor, Dark Souls! So, whatever I mean below is completely valid for the sequel too 🙂

Demons_Souls

After countless retries, fear, deaths, arduous mishaps, broken bodies, looting, devouring and flirting, I present to you my personal feelings that clearly state and re-state the quintessential and inevitable fact of life (regardless of race, origin, species)…Demon’s Souls is a better deal!

5ive reasons:

1) When you play DS, you cherish each and every moment of your time with it! You know the value of life, money and gaming! This is so NOT true when it comes to spending time with your girlfriend. Demon’s Souls scores!

2) “YOU DIED” – 2 Words. 2 Sweet orgasmic words. It kills You. But, you know, you can come back! You know all has not failed! You know you have the power within you, to come back and murder that red-eyed hoplite bastard. “YOU BROKE UP” – 3 Words. 3 most unethically used words Ever!(perhaps I LOVE YOU is another one). When it comes to your girlfriend, there is NO coming back. Demon’s Souls scores! Again!

3) “It’s NOT you, It’s ME…Routine!” Seinfeld? Anyone? George? I bet many of you must’ve heard those words, uttered by your girlfriend, right before..you know what! It cracks up your skull. Its pure Mindfuck. Anyway, my point is, Demon’s Souls NEVER does that! In DS, it is always YOUR fault! You die, because YOU SUCK. DS will never say – “It’s NOT you, It’s ME”. Demon’s Souls scores! Yet Again!

4) “SOULSUCKER”. When you feel bad, down, fallen, your girlfriend might always support and be part of the global force which helps SUCK SOULS from you. Girls will SUCK away your SOUL. In Demon’s Souls,YOU SUCK….SOULS! You have the power. You fuck, You suck….souls. Plus, you can buy stuff with souls. So, it ROCKS. Demon’s Souls scores! Again and Again!

5) Married Men! I know its late for you…But, all hope is NOT lost! Deep in your heart, you always wanted to keep a sexy Mistress by your side. Some might even have one! Forget about having a girlfriend as your Mistress, choose Demon’s Souls. You WILL never feel alone…For people who enjoy and feeding off their FEAR, feel true gruesome fear in Demon’s Souls. Demon’s Souls scores! Forever and again!!! DS FTW \m/

If you actually DIE, face true Death playing Demon’s Souls…just remember and recall these words from Demon’s Souls – “If I only had some friends…”

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The Witcher 2 – 15 symptons of love and addiction

I thought of posting some of the random stuff I wrote about games here and there : ]

I’ll begin with Witcher 2 (the following points were posted  on Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 2:11pm at Facebook)

The Witcher 2 – A fine Action-RPG with great story, setting, gameplay and progression. This game is exceptional on PC to this date. I’ve been thinking of playing the Enhanced edition… since it’s been so long since I finished this game. I know I’ll get back to it. Soon. Hopefully.

Anyway, for all hardcore fans of Witcher 2, read on!

  • When you walk by a garden your hands involuntarily venture to grab some flowers! Celandine x2
  • You gift your girlfriend a celandine and hope she uses its alchemical properties by harvesting Rebisand mixing it with chicken for dinner!
  • There can never be such a thing as “Too much sex”.
  • You stop believing in taking sides and your life’s motto is “Neutrality + Sex”.
  • You get depressed at the feeling that the world and people around you are not ubersampled!    
  • Stealing from anyone’s house in front of owners is not a crime.
  • When you encounter a cockroach in your bathroom, you instinctively do a quick roll and try stabbing it from behind with your shiny silver needle!

Geralt wandering in the streets of Flotsam

 

  • You believe your water bottle contains Swallow which can be drank only when you meditate!
  • You feel your locket vibrates like the Medallion in presence of a lizard nearby!
  • You start applying Almond Oils to your kitchen knife in hopes of making it more vicious!
  • You resolve your petty arguments with friends and strangers using Arm wrestling or fistfighting!
  • The only poker you are aware of is Dice Poker! 
  • You believe life’s story can be covered in 3 Chapters in addition to punishing beginning and short ending.
  • You think new local areas in your town get unlocked in the form of free DLCs. 
  • You assume life to have alternate endings.